Today I was reminded of THE 3 EASY STEPS to living a more Godly/spiritual life. Do these and you are sure to be super Holy!!!
Step 1: Always remember that when it comes to trying to get in touch with, and grow in something as complex as God/Spirituality there are NO simple steps, it's a messy and meaingful process, it's going to take everything you possibly have, embracing failure, Denying Ego, Knowing Jesus are just a couple of the central things.
Step 2: There are no more steps.
Step 3: see Step 1.
This was inspired by this video.
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Friday, November 5, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Funeral 201
Funeral 201
So after posting Funeral 101 I thought I would follow up with some more thoughts on me doing funerals.
One of the things I loved being a part of was just being there for people. I was so amazed at how many people just needed someone to hug. After the service people I didn’t even know came up to me and just hugged, not your typical quick hug, but hugs that lasted, and that really meant something. I realized that this, so many times, is what people are really looking for in these kinds of situations where loss is so evident. No reassuring words, no explanations, no “it will get better with time” statements. Good hugs communicate so much about how the person you are hugging isn’t alone in this.
And I’ve been thinking about future funerals, and the spiritual side of what I might bring to them. Whenever I’ve been to a funeral that helped me deal with the death of the person, it has been a funeral that reflected excellently on the person’s life. The worst funeral I’ve been to had a preacher practically yelling at the crowd telling them that Unless they believe in Jesus they are going to be sent to Eternal conscious torment by a God who is pure Love… weird. To say something like that at a funeral, for me, would be inauthentic for me and my connection with God.
But what about the fact that some people are going to be thinking about the frailty of Life and really dealing with their immortality, I mean, shouldn’t I “capitalize” on their vulnerable moment? ha that makes it sound like I’m going to trick people into a relationship with God. That’s really going to work.
I want to attract people to a relationship with God by the way I am present in the preparation for the memorial, the memorial itself, and the time after. Rather than try and trick them into something just as “fire insurance.” It’s probably not a good idea to enter into a relationship with someone because if you don’t they are going to hurt you.
I’m really having a hard time putting into words what I feel about this, here are a couple of statements that try and get to what I am feeling.
I feel like I’m called to be the aroma, not the bread.
If people are attracted to the God in me and are curious, than I would be honored to share with them how a relationhip with God has changed me, and journey with them in that exploration as much as possible whatever that looks like for them.
I’m not the electric current, I’m the conductor. I’m not going to try and make a something happen, If God wants to show up for somebody and wants me to be a part of it I’m more than willing. But I’m not going to “shotgun” a crowd of people who’s trust I haven’t earned yet.
This is not to say that I won’t ever talk about Jesus at a funeral. I will totally talk about him if the context is right. Part of that context is Jesus specifically being a part of that persons life. If the Family thinks it’s appropriate. And if I get the sense that people are “hungry” for the “bread,” I would talk to them individually first. I appreciate it when someone talks to me about God in the context of the relationship we have together. I am way more open to hear what the person says. But when someone I don’t know shotguns “the word of the Lord” at me I usually close right up. That might be my issue but I can only do what is authentic for me to do.
So to wrap up this long post.
I love it when a funeral director understands that there is something beautiful even spiritual in just reflecting on a person’s life. When they are really good at being the aroma. Really good at drawing people to a relationship with God not scaring the crap out of them.
So after posting Funeral 101 I thought I would follow up with some more thoughts on me doing funerals.
One of the things I loved being a part of was just being there for people. I was so amazed at how many people just needed someone to hug. After the service people I didn’t even know came up to me and just hugged, not your typical quick hug, but hugs that lasted, and that really meant something. I realized that this, so many times, is what people are really looking for in these kinds of situations where loss is so evident. No reassuring words, no explanations, no “it will get better with time” statements. Good hugs communicate so much about how the person you are hugging isn’t alone in this.
And I’ve been thinking about future funerals, and the spiritual side of what I might bring to them. Whenever I’ve been to a funeral that helped me deal with the death of the person, it has been a funeral that reflected excellently on the person’s life. The worst funeral I’ve been to had a preacher practically yelling at the crowd telling them that Unless they believe in Jesus they are going to be sent to Eternal conscious torment by a God who is pure Love… weird. To say something like that at a funeral, for me, would be inauthentic for me and my connection with God.
But what about the fact that some people are going to be thinking about the frailty of Life and really dealing with their immortality, I mean, shouldn’t I “capitalize” on their vulnerable moment? ha that makes it sound like I’m going to trick people into a relationship with God. That’s really going to work.
I want to attract people to a relationship with God by the way I am present in the preparation for the memorial, the memorial itself, and the time after. Rather than try and trick them into something just as “fire insurance.” It’s probably not a good idea to enter into a relationship with someone because if you don’t they are going to hurt you.
I’m really having a hard time putting into words what I feel about this, here are a couple of statements that try and get to what I am feeling.
I feel like I’m called to be the aroma, not the bread.
If people are attracted to the God in me and are curious, than I would be honored to share with them how a relationhip with God has changed me, and journey with them in that exploration as much as possible whatever that looks like for them.
I’m not the electric current, I’m the conductor. I’m not going to try and make a something happen, If God wants to show up for somebody and wants me to be a part of it I’m more than willing. But I’m not going to “shotgun” a crowd of people who’s trust I haven’t earned yet.
This is not to say that I won’t ever talk about Jesus at a funeral. I will totally talk about him if the context is right. Part of that context is Jesus specifically being a part of that persons life. If the Family thinks it’s appropriate. And if I get the sense that people are “hungry” for the “bread,” I would talk to them individually first. I appreciate it when someone talks to me about God in the context of the relationship we have together. I am way more open to hear what the person says. But when someone I don’t know shotguns “the word of the Lord” at me I usually close right up. That might be my issue but I can only do what is authentic for me to do.
So to wrap up this long post.
I love it when a funeral director understands that there is something beautiful even spiritual in just reflecting on a person’s life. When they are really good at being the aroma. Really good at drawing people to a relationship with God not scaring the crap out of them.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Why a better Question? I liked the one I already had.
I think we all ask ourselves questions everyday, every moment. I would suggest that the questions that we ask ourselves lead to the kind of life we will live every day.
Whenever life seems empty and shallow I start to become aware of the questions I'm asking myself. When life seems empty, I usually realize that I have been asking the question, "What do I need to do to feel better?" The good thing about this question is that the answer is mostly instinctual and unconscious. No effort needed at all to answer this. I feel bored, I should watch a movie. I feel sad, I should do something to make me happy. I feel hungry, I should eat. I feel angry, I should take it out on the people closest to me. The downside of this question is that you will just be reacting to everything, and your life will never really become about something deeper. The answer to this question is really uncreative and leaves an empty feeling when the answer has been excecuted.
What do I need to feel better, isn't the kind of life I want to live. It's totally self centered. When I realize that, that is the question I'm asking, I insert the "Why" Question. "Why do I feel empty? Why do I feel sad? Why do I feel happy? Why do I feel like I should feel better?" Why why why why? I just let out a barrage of why questions. Why? because why gets at my motivations, Why isn't knee jerk reaction, Why isn't unconscious and instinctual. Why, jerks you into reality with a whiplash. You will start to see how empty your motivations for living have been, the selfishness that permeates most of your relationships, and the jealousy you have for others who live with the why question and tackle it everyday intentionally. Why gets us to a deeper mode of living.
At first it's hard to ask why. You'll find yourself not even know what to ask why about. But the more you do it, the better you will get at uncovering the motivations you've had in the past few days and figure out a new set of motivations to live from. When I first started asking "why" it would take me 10 minutes of laborious thinking to get to a decision about something. Now it just takes a minute or two. This is a great trade off, I find myself doing more and more things that matter to me, and less things that just "get me through the day." I feel more alive. More like the person I'm supposed to be.
Whenever life seems empty and shallow I start to become aware of the questions I'm asking myself. When life seems empty, I usually realize that I have been asking the question, "What do I need to do to feel better?" The good thing about this question is that the answer is mostly instinctual and unconscious. No effort needed at all to answer this. I feel bored, I should watch a movie. I feel sad, I should do something to make me happy. I feel hungry, I should eat. I feel angry, I should take it out on the people closest to me. The downside of this question is that you will just be reacting to everything, and your life will never really become about something deeper. The answer to this question is really uncreative and leaves an empty feeling when the answer has been excecuted.
What do I need to feel better, isn't the kind of life I want to live. It's totally self centered. When I realize that, that is the question I'm asking, I insert the "Why" Question. "Why do I feel empty? Why do I feel sad? Why do I feel happy? Why do I feel like I should feel better?" Why why why why? I just let out a barrage of why questions. Why? because why gets at my motivations, Why isn't knee jerk reaction, Why isn't unconscious and instinctual. Why, jerks you into reality with a whiplash. You will start to see how empty your motivations for living have been, the selfishness that permeates most of your relationships, and the jealousy you have for others who live with the why question and tackle it everyday intentionally. Why gets us to a deeper mode of living.
At first it's hard to ask why. You'll find yourself not even know what to ask why about. But the more you do it, the better you will get at uncovering the motivations you've had in the past few days and figure out a new set of motivations to live from. When I first started asking "why" it would take me 10 minutes of laborious thinking to get to a decision about something. Now it just takes a minute or two. This is a great trade off, I find myself doing more and more things that matter to me, and less things that just "get me through the day." I feel more alive. More like the person I'm supposed to be.
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